


Clyde is a dumbass

by Kanrachoi



Category: South Park, ヤリチン☆ビッチ部 | Yarichin Bitch Club
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-10 00:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18649111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanrachoi/pseuds/Kanrachoi
Summary: Clyde is sent to a private all boys college in the mountains what could possibly go wrong.





	1. Naming chapters is hard

Clyde you're a total dumbass! Clyde smacks himself in the forehead as he walks up the steps to his new school. All boys? Really?! He couldn't believe he let himself be carted out here to some bum campus in the middle of nowhere. He would be stuck in the mountains for a very long time. Clyde’s dreams of having a new girlfriend every week dashed as he gave a noncommittal sigh. Maybe he could convince his dad to let him drop out and help with the family business. Or ideally move back to the city.

Clyde meandered reluctantly into his classroom and had to introduce himself. 

“Hi I'm Clyde Donovan and I'm a transfer student from the city. Yeah”

Clyde almost smacked himself in the face. “yeah” really Clyde? That's bad even for you. He moped in his seat a bit more, indulging in his little pool for self pity. He tried to console himself that at least it was an elite school. For prestigious students! But that really just reminded how much farther from the norm he would fall. Even in a school full of boys he was slightly out of place. A small shift that would determine his popular status. But Clyde Donovan would not so easily be reduced to the sidelines, at least not without trying. He could feel his isolated desk drifting into the abyss already so he planted his feet firmly on the ground. 

“Just be patient” he thought.

“Hey Clyde~!”

“Ah- yes hello”

“Loosen up Clyde I'm just another classmate~ You're from the city? Me too! Welcome South Park though, it will really be like a home away from home. If you let it be.”

He looked up and saw a guy shining down on him with a toothy smirk as he pushed his hands forward in his jacket pockets. Even though he was wearing an obnoxiously orange jacket, the color that really caught Clyde's eye was the sunny blonde in his hair and attitude along with the cerulean in his eye. 

“Oh, uh, cool”

“Damn right!”

The jaunty kid stuck out his arm and adjusted his lips into a more genuine smile.

“My name is Kenneth McCormick but don't call me that! Call me Kenny everyone does~”

“O-oki doki um..”

“From now on you're stuck with me since we're classmates, but nice to meet you dude.”

“The pleasure is all mine Ke-enny”

“Why did I say his name like that??” Clyde tormented himself with thoughts similar as he replayed the elongated “stylized and interesting” way he slurred out his classmate's name. Clyde had to stop himself from letting the tears of joy fall as Kenny held his hand. He really lucked with someone so nice reaching out to him in friendship. Clyde felt blessed as he slowly let go of the good natured handshake, a symbol of their friendship. 

“Have you joined a club yet Clyde?”

“Hm? No I plan to relaaaax and take it easy. No need to throw myself into some boring club.”

Clyde calculated the benefits of a club against the possibilities of building his own social circle. 

“Aw too bad Clyde~ All incoming students have to join a club and since you're technically incoming you have to join one. Same as the freshies”

Clyde slumped in defeat but Kenny had leaned over his desk while he was talking.

“Don't worry clubs are pretty fun, I'm still in my club.”

Clyde realized maybe joining a club Kenny was in wouldn't be so bad. He seemed like a friend that wanted to stick with.

“Well what club are you in?”

“I'm in parkour but you can't exactly just jump in haha”

Clyde recoiled at the thought of having to be in a club that required frequent movement. 

“Yeah sorry it doesn't sound like my thing ahaha”

“Well there are other clubs I'm sure you'll find one”

Clyde was brainstorming during class and it really was a storm. There weren't too many options for clubs since he had such high standards. First and foremost he would not be joining a sport. Second, it wouldn't involve any physical activity period. Third, he wanted to join something he actually enjoyed, a little bit eager after Kenny talked it up, but really there weren't many options after his first two qualifiers. There was orchestra, concert band, and the film and photography club; Clyde didn't play any instruments. After the bell tolled Clyde found himself shuffling towards the classroom hosting the photo-film club.

“Heeeyyy I'm looking to join the photo-film club, is that this club here?”

When he opened the door the first thing he heard being a loud buzzing sound and loud moans was not what he expected. One guy was surrounded by several others with his thighs splayed open and a vibrating contraption on his dick. The boy sitting on the desk was begging for more with a euphoric grin until he saw Clyde. The scene stopped with the loud buzzing serving as an awkward cricket. 

Clyde had seen enough. Mortified, he simply shut the door.

“what just happened” Clyde muttered to himself, still understandably shell shocked.  
Just as he was turning to leave he heard the door click open behind him.

“Hello! Could you be a new member?”

A blonde boy about his height beamed at him and stared him straight in the eye.

“ah, no um, i, uh”

“Come in, come in~”

The boy pulled him by the arm and lead him into the room despite his awkward protests. 

“Ayyy a new membaaa”

“Welcome to the Film Star Club~!”

All that Clyde could assemble in his mind dribbled out of his mouth.

“I-i thought this was the photography film club”

Despite his overwhelmed appearance the enthused club leader went on.

“This is it! We just find film makes more money these days so we do more of that. If you want to do photos too that's totally allowed don't worry!”

“S-sorry I think I've made a mistake”

“Our club name was so clever too did you miss it?”

“huh?”

Clyde mulled it over. Sex, film and photography club, sex… oh they made porn. So what happened earlier… 

“I'm so glad you decided to join us, transfer student!”

“So what happened earlier… wasn't really out of the ordinary?”

“Besides the point of it being the new vibrator we were trying, yes it was very much an average occurrence”

“I see”

“Is this the photography club?”

Clyde looked back at the doorway to see another guy had taken his place in the doorway. His nasally voice was pierced into his memory as was his neutral unfazed expression he maintained while looking in at the questionable scene. His blue hat came down over his ears. He leaned in a bit and peered around the room more carefully.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Guys quick another new one!”

The energy the club members unheaved to welcome this new guy the same way they did him was impressive. Frankly, it exhausted Clyde just watching.

“Welcome to the Photo-film club, you are a new member right?”

It was just a personal opinion but Clyde thought their sales pitch of “Photo-film club” might be more convincing if they weren't holding the dildos being used seconds before in plain view. 

After a pause the guy in the doorway spoke.

“Yes, is this really the photography club?”

“Yes~!”

Blatant lies to Clyde but the other transfer didn't seem to pick it up. Either that or he simply didn't care. 

“You're a transfer too?”

“Yes”

“Ah I knew it, it is that time of year”

The other, now confirmed, transfer turned his stare to Clyde. He leaned in to Clyde's face to seemingly get a closer look.

“Are you a transfer student too?”

“Uh, yes, yeah I am”

The other transfer straightened his posture and began to speak again to Clyde.

“Yeah me too so we should try to get along I guess, my name’s Craig”

Craig glanced away after firmly patting his shoulder. Clyde looked as if he wanted to press Craig about his reaction to the, ah, club, but Craig didn't seem like someone he wanted to annoy. But despite the awkward delivery, it felt nice to be included by him.

“It might be a bit too much to introduce everyone right now so I'll keep things short. I'm your club president Leopold Stotch but you can call me Leo!”

“It's nice to meet you.” 

“Haa..”

“If you need anything explained or you don't understand something, don't be afraid to come to me!”

Clyde observed Leo's earnest expression and let him continue.

“And this is my vice president Kyle. He was the one, ah, testing our new toy earlier.”

He gestured to a red headed boy Clyde recognized as the boy on the table. The look Kyle was giving him made him feel like prey being examined. When he realized Clyde had met his stare his eyes flicked away.

“And this is my boyfriend Scott”

“What your boyfriend?!?!” Clyde sputtered. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this as the new normal.

“That's pretty common in an all boys school”

“Right you are Craig! But for us it's true love”

Leo smiled fondly at a tall lanky guy with mousy brown hair who flushed and smiled back awkwardly. Leo pointed to the next person he saw.

“And that's Tweek, his anxiety is really bad so he gets aggravated but he's really a nice guy. And he's never bothered by cameras or having sex so no worries~!”

“Ngh, Jesus Christ why would you… why did you say that gah!” 

The other blonde was twitching a bit and looked like he had never combed his hair in his life. Clyde often forgot but he could confidently say Tweek needed it more than he did. And however blunt, Leo's assessment seemed pretty spot on.

Clyde was too overwhelmed and tired to really respond anymore and was just hoping to get this over with. He didn't see anyone else in the clubroom and a feeling of relief washed over him. He felt a warm wet sensation on the back of his neck and he yelped.

“Ah!”

“Wooow you sounded so stupid”

“huh?”

“I'm Eric but you can call me sir Eric the great from here on out”

“Ehh!?”

The redhead clicked his tongue in annoyance behind him and Leo rolled his eyes with a smile. 

“And yes my dear friend Eric, last but not least. He was the fat mean kid nobody liked in middle school but now he's more tolerable. Plus he's attractive now so we let him join the club.”

“Hey!”

“Actually we still don't like him, he's still ugly, and only Leo calls him Eric.”

“Hey shut your WHORE mouth kahl”

“Pft whatever Cartman”

Clyde was left a bit confused after that exchange. Cartman/Eric reflexively combed his fingers through his hair and checked his reflection as if Kyle's words could have actually altered his appearance. Clyde might've pegged him as the one of the most normal in the room if he hadn't licked him. Cartman was the tallest and biggest of the group but deserved a bit more credit to his physicality than Kyle gave. Kyle was back to tapping at his phone and Clyde's attention turned back to the club president.

“Well i believe that's everyone, Eric would you like to take it from here?”

“Sure thing boss, if you really want me to simplify our complex art”

Cartman had a cocky gaze fixed on the two newcomers now. His smirk only made Clyde more uneasy.

“We have sex. On camera, with whoever, not necessarily at the same time. You joined a club where you're allowed to have sex you two lucky virgins!”

Clyde froze, his suspicions finally being thrown in his face.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't understand! We have sex?”

“Newcomer's a total dumbass ha! Don't you get it? We are stuck in the middle of the mountains on an isolated campus. These bastards need some way to get their release.”

The nasally voice suddenly piped up again that Clyde hadn't heard in a while.

“So we run a sex service? And sometimes take pictures as we do it?”

“Ha you're slightly better than dumbass here! But we don't get money directly, we get free food for all club members, and the sex charge is more subscription based. It's like netflix, they pay a monthly fee and if they have the current stamp they get free sex.”

“There's no way I'm having sex with a dude for money”

Clyde felt like he was going to hurl. He knew this would be different than high school but this was not something he was prepared for.

“HA! Like i said you're not actually getting any money it all goes to the club.”

“Um yea sorry but I'm not taking a dick up my ass”

Craig finally had spoken up on his side in this crazy situation they shared. Clyde was slightly more validated knowing he wasn't the only one against all this.

“No problem Craig you can be a top!” 

Leo chimed in with a smile the way he's always done so far. 

“Okay. Can I film too?”

“I don't see why we'd turn away a new and eager participant!”

Craig turned to me.

“I'm a top”

Wonderful you're feeling so secure now.

“By the way if you don't have sex in a month you'll be forced to participate in an orgy, okay?”

Okay??!?!!!

“Isn't t-that a crime?! And there's no way a club like this would be allowed. You're breaking the rules!”

“A bunch of young people boxed in on a mountain sounds like a lawless land to me~ Plus some of the teachers are regulars”

‘It's impossible. Some of the teachers?!?! I thought I might be able to stick this place out. No girls and no laws of the outside world. I can't stay Kenny. So friendly to me but I'm readily ditching this place. So long my sanity and dreams. Can't go back to my old school now. Can't even back out of this club apparently.’

Clyde's thoughts only brought him deeper down.

“Well we meet here everyday after school, you could even try to seduce one of us! See you around Clyde!” 

And with that Clyde felt his membership of this club and of this school solidified.


	2. I may go back and change these in the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to happen

“Hey you're new meat to the film club right? So this is fine.”

Clyde had woken up bright and early so as not to be late to class. His goal was to hopefully find a seat next to Kenny. He was forcefully roused from his half sleep by this assaulter. Clyde was mortified that this had really happened to him. He was just coming down the stairs to go to his class and this guy grabbed him. In the crook of the staircase between the wall and the banister, Clyde was pinned.

“Don't pretend like you don't want it. Maybe you'd prefer if I stripped you down here?”

The guy’s horny growl really irked Clyde. 

“I-it's really not like that, no…”

Clyde weak protests were ignored as he found his body pressed up against the wall. This wasn't just having sex with another man, did he have to let just anyone grab him and fuck him at their own convenience?! This guy was either a total dumbass in sex crazed heat or he saw nothing morally grey about raping Clyde, and on a school campus. 

“And what if i’m gentle?”

The guy’s face was really close to his now and he had bitten his ear. His ear now had saliva over it and a dull sting. What the fuck was this guy's problem?! Clyde felt the tension building in his face. His skin was flushed and his eyes were watering in frustration and fear. Are the teachers here really okay with this?? Clyde couldn't help whiting out to an internal scream as the blood was threatening to pop in his cheeks.

“Move.”

The terse command was followed by a foot propped up on his tormentor that shoved him away. His posture and tone made it look as effortless as if it had been done to the wall clyde was clinging to.

“C-craig!”

Clyde sort of yelped in surprise at his nonchalant rescuer. Craig didn't seem to be as disturbed by the behavior as Clyde was but he must have disapproved enough to kick him in the ribs.

“Hey Clyde. You okay?”

“Uh yeah, thanks...”

“That fucking hurts what’s your problem!”

“I'm also in the photography club so I'll be your partner”

Craig lifts up the camera around his neck a bit to show the guy on the floor. Clyde noticed the guy wasn't really taking Craig seriously so he piped up.

“Yeah Craig and I joined at the same time”

“Eh really?”

The guy looked Craig up and down and Clyde followed his gaze. Unlike him, Craig was taller than this guy and more intimidating than him at least. Craig's stance was confident and firm unlike his slouched shaking inferiority of a body and presence. 

“I'll be the one putting it in though so if you're not cool with that fuck off”

Petrified the guy let out a “no thanks” and went on his way. Craig flipped him off as he staggered off into a run. Craig clicked his tongue in annoyance and still looked like someone not to be messed with when he turned to Clyde.

“That was pretty easy who knew an empty threat would be so effective”

Clyde was still a bit awestruck on how easy it was for Craig to brush them off. He was also pretty sure that was the most words he had ever heard Craig speak in one sentence. 

“Thanks”

“Don't worry about it”

“I could have handled that you didn't need to bother, or kick him to the floor really…”

“Yes i did he was an asshole”

“Oh okay”

Craig paused for a second seeming to think for a minute.

“I thought it was important to help you, since we're in the same club and everything”

At those words Clyde had to come to terms with a fact that the situation really wasn't something he could've handled. He did need Craig's help. And if this is what happened on only the first day he would definitely need help in the future. This club was really putting him in a bad spot but Craig didn't seem bothered. Clyde felt pathetic. A wave of shame enveloped him as he sat next to Craig in a stagnated silence. Somehow he, a pretty average guy, had been reduced past unpopular into the realm of a helpless object.

“Yeah, I guess we should stick together”

“Okay sounds good”

Clyde resolved to stop wallowing around in despair and change the topic.

“So why did you want to join a film-photography club in the first place?”

“I like photography”

“I see”

As Clyde went back to staring down the hallway the electronic tone of the bell signaled five minutes until the start of class. Clyde thought about how he wasted that precious bonus time and bid his new friend farewell. He was half jogging half speed walking to his class so he almost crashed into someone when he turned the corner.

“Oh hey Clyde!”

“O-oh Kenny hi!”

Kenny was scratching the back of his neck and blushing a bit as he looked down when he approached him.

“Is it true you joined the film-photography club?”

Clyde guessed that based on Kenny's reaction he knew it wasn't an ordinary club.

“Yeaaah, but i didn't know okay!”

Kenny laughed a bit and looked him back in the eye.

“Yeah I kinda figured. That’s why i came to say sorry. That was the only club that seemed to fit your bill and i let you walk right in”

He blushed again with another grin and didn't meet Clyde's somewhat shocked eyes. Kenny picked at the bottom of his coat with one hand and scratched his neck with the other. 

“It's not your fault Kenny don't worry everything is okay!” 

“Really?”

Clyde looked at Kenny again to reassure him with a smile. Kenny met his eyes again with that guilt ridden grin. Clyde realized Kenny blushed a little deeper because he was staring instead of responding. Clyde let loose his most genuine smile and spoke again.

“Yeah really!”

“Well if you ever need any help don't think twice and just ask, I'll lend a hand”

“Of course, thanks!”

The guilt was wiped away off Kenny's face with Clyde's words. He gave him that same smile he remember from the previous day. Without realizing his heart was melting a bit in his hands.

Clyde plopped down into his desk in that happy half melted state and thought to himself. If it was with Kenny he wouldn't mind having sex with a guy. Clyde shocked himself with his own thoughts. He wouldn't be pressured so easily into doing it with a guy! Even if it was… Kenny. He was kind and cheerful and fun, and pretty popular. He was the kind of guy he wanted to be and hang around in his original idea for his campus life. Although he had mixed feelings on being popular with only guys. But Kenny was kinda small… Clyde grinned into the distance in his awestricken musings. He really was adorable. When the bell for the end of class rang it was like his legs were on autopilot.

“Kenny.. “

“So have you already decided to share your first experience with that guy, Kenny? I hear he's pretty cute so I'd say good pick”

Clyde almost screamed and jumped out of his skin. Leo's voice and slenderman like appearance yanked him back to reality. 

“Aw Clyde don't be like that it's just me Leo”

He smiled and played with his hands a bit and looked back up at Clyde.

“You snuck up on me, jesus of course i was surprised!”

“Even outside our club circles, he's pretty popular”

“Wait is Kenny a…?”

“Ahaha don't worry he's not a member and he's untouched! But among the toppers he's pretty popular anyways you know?”

“Uhhh, I still don't get what you mean by that”

“Oh Clyde! Are you being serious? Toppers or tops or however you want to put in are the ones putting it in. And the bottoms, sometimes people call them kittens, prefer to be on the receiving end!” 

Leo explained it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, but the order in this boys school still baffled Clyde.

“Me, Scott, and now Craig are tops! Tweek is our only bottom unless you join him. Kyle and Eric both switch! So they can be either just fine!”

“Wait if you and Scott are both tops then…”

“Ah at least you're catching on, Scott bottoms only for me.”

Clyde thought about such a tall guy playing the role of the girl. He didn't speak much and didn't seem like the type to, moan. Clyde couldn't really wrap his head around it.

“So you're a couple, but, you have sex with other guys? Doesn't it bother you? I would hate it if my girlfriend was sleeping with other guys.”

“Eh? Not at all really, since the way we do it is different, it's special. We're okay like that.”

“So there's no problems?”

“Nope!”

Leo gazed off into the distance contentedly but Clyde wondered if Scott felt the same way.

Clyde sighed as he walked out the classroom. He hadn't eaten all day and he felt irritated. He was hunched over and grumbling to himself, considering even kicking some rocks despite how childish it would be.

“Huh?”

Clyde felt something in a crinkly wrapper lighted bopped against his head right before a pair of hands reached up and covered his vision.

“Guess who~”

“um, uh Kenny?”

“That would be correct!”

Kenny leapt out from behind Clyde dramatically and held the plastic wrapped culprit thrusted in front of him with both hands. 

“Don't worry, I didn't make it so it won't kill you”

Kenny sniggered at his own joke and gave his seeming now signature toothy grin. The package he was holding had a giant cookie inside and he was offering it to Clyde. Clyde felt a certain something welling up inside threatening to compromise his manliness twice in one day.

“I never saw you come into the cafeteria to get something so i thought you'd be hungry. And what could be better than a sugary treat~?”

“Kenny! Thank you so much i was about to die you're an angel. Manna from heaven!”

“Yea those suckers are really good, swear on my life!”

“Um, if you still have time before going to your club, you want to um, sit around here and eat it with me?”

Clyde's heart was running fast and must've been kicking up a storm as Kenny accepted his invitation. As they were sitting down Kenny smiled with his arms propped up. He happily ate a little chunk of the cookie next to Clyde. 

“It's so sugary and good!” 

“Well it better be!”

Kenny was so easy going, being around him had a calming influence on Clyde that even Clyde himself could notice the difference. He was friendly and non threatening, sweet and caring, anybody would want to be around him, but it was Clyde that was lucky enough to have the friendly feeling mutual. Kenny chose to hang out with him and even bought him food. Sounds like the makings of a beautiful friendship to Clyde.

“Hey Kenny, uh”

“Hey Clyde what are you doing?”

Clyde was cut off by Craig coming over from across the courtyard. Kenny looked up from his lap and his eyes widened.

“CRAIG?”

“Ken?” 

The recognition shone in their faces as Craig came to a stop in front of their bench. Kenny froze in place.

“What? You two know each other?”

Kenny smiled and laughed breaking through the forming ice. 

“Craig and I were childhood friends, you might say, we both grew up for a while in the town below.”

“O-oh I see now”

“Clyde I was searching for you. You were here with Kenny?”

“Yea he's been here Craig. You should've told me you transferred here. I thought i told you i went here ahaha~ Then maybe we could do less searching and more coordinating”

“Ah i didn't know you were here either”

Their eyes bored into one another as they waited for the other to speak again. 

“Is that a cookie from the cafeteria?”

“Oh yeah, I got it from Kenny”

Clyde gracelessly handed the cookie back to Kenny who accepted it equally strained. 

“Can i have a bite Ken?”

Clyde saw a slight upturn in Craigs neutral expression. Kenny saw it too and relaxed a bit.

“Haha sure thing!”

Kenny held up the cookie and Craig leaned over and took a bite out of it. Clyde had to do his best to beat down the jealousy in him as Craig hummed in satisfaction. Despite the lack of tonal change in either the mood was lighter for all but one. 

“Haha if you eat it all Craig there won't be any left for Clyde!”

“Sorry, thanks for the bite Ken”

Then Craig did something Clyde wasn't ready for. Craig ruffled Kenny's hair and Kenny puffed out his cheeks jokingly but blushed. Clyde furrowed his brow a bit and might've been glaring at the two but they didn't notice. Kenny held the cookie back out for Clyde to take but not eat from his hand the way Craig did. 

“Ah yes, thanks”

Clyde ate the cookie in silence.

“Ah I had an indirect kiss with Clyde”

At Craig's words it was like the pit in Clyde's stomach had a hole punched into it.


	3. But dont hold ur breath lol

Eric thought about the “Occupied” sign he put on the door of the club room and wondered if it would be enough. He panted a little but wasn't even close to tired out yet. When the guy under him came and was getting tired he felt a twinge of annoyance. He needed to motivate this kid to keep moving or he'd never get to do the same. 

“Oh c'mon you can't even make me come too?”

Eric smirked down at the guy who had only gotten redder than before. He lifted his legs back up and was ready to push back into him when his sign was clearly ignored. 

“CARTMAN YOU SON OF A BITCH WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

Somebody had slammed the door open and was now storming into the room. Eric wasn't all that surprised that someone had come in but the guy panicking at their compromising position seemed to have a bit too much faith in human decency. 

“Hey who the hell are you! I haven't come yet bastard and it's pretty fucking obvious what we're doing!”

Eric turned around to cuss out the intruder but a vague flicker of recognition twitched in his mind.

“Who am I?! Who is he?! You texted me yesterday saying to meet you here so we could do it!”

“Yesterday…? I probably didn't think anything I said to some random asshole was very important so i didn't bother remembering.”

“Cartman, you bastard!”

Eric rolled his eyes in exasperation. Why did he care so much? He could just fuck him after or even now, but both guys were so tied up over a little mix up. 

Eric looked between the two and sighed.

“Just come over here and put it in I guess I'll make an exception today”

“W-what?!”

The guy thought it over in his head. Was this a trick? Would he come closer then get smacked? Cartman wasn't exactly known for his kind relenting nature, but he was known for being good at it both ways. He groaned internally at himself having a threesome with not only his intended target but also some other random student.

“Is it actually okay..?”

“The fuck you standing around for!”

He shuffled over and decided that this was actually happening. He shut the door gently and began to undo his belt.

“I will murder your family and feed them to you if you come inside”

“Okay, okay…”

“Wah… Eric why are you actually letting him…”

Eric glared at the both of them as one was protesting the new partner and the other was pestering him over how tight he was. He leaned into the apparently shy boy and held his head into him while he fucked him. Maybe he'd get less grief this way cause wow everyone was pissed and shit over how he knew things would work. He can't see anyone so they aren't there. After some awkward praise the guy had finally worked up the nerve to just put it in and Eric almost groaned, equal parts impatience and pleasure. He didn't mind this. He liked having disgusting things done to him and he liked doing disgusting things to other guys. If the way he did the deed was disgusting, he may as well own it. He mulled over in his head how he had gotten into this situation and why, but he honestly didn't care. It was free sex right? Who would say no as long as he felt good he didn't give a shit. 

=================

“Ughhh…”

Tweek's hands were twitching so bad he had to pull his sleeves down so his nails wouldn't cut into his palms. Why was he even doing this??? He didn't necessarily need to. He could just wait to see if he wanted his, help; he didn't need to ask. 

“Gahhh” 

He yanked at his hair but untangled his fingers after he realized what he was doing. He hadn't been this bad in a while and he was pretty irritated that it was back now.

“Goddammit!”

He was somewhat aware he was screeching to himself in an empty hallway, but he also felt the anxiety strangling him as he inched closer to the classroom he knew he would be in. If he looked like such a mess why would he even want to choose him as a first time? He almost turned around and left but then he saw him walk out of the classroom.

“Hey…Tweek, wasn't it?”

“HEY, yeah I'm Craig,...ugh! Hi Craig, yes I'm Tweek.”

He had never more wanted to punch himself in the face repeatedly until his stupid brain was fixed. He forced himself to look up at Craig.

“Uh yeah”

“Aghhh you know what I meant!”

“Do you have a class over here? I thought this was just where the freshmen were.”

Shit. After that embarrassing introduction he still needed to bring up the even more awkward point of his coming over here.

“Weeell no…”

“Okay”

“If you want you could have sex with me since you have to anyway, cause better me than someone else right?”

Tweek just surpassed his previous most wanting to punch himself in the face moment. He sounded like an arrogant ass! He just meant to say if he needed someone to do it with he could be the backup if it was down to the orgy or some random guy, assuming he wouldn't be comfortable with either. Hell he was also assuming Craig hadn't already found someone else to have his initiation fuck with. He wanted to melt into the floor and die.

“Yeah I guess I'd rather have sex with someone I know than someone I don't”

Tweek almost exploded. Did that really just work? Tweek had never been so thankful that someone had correctly interpreted his muddled words.

==============

Clyde sat on a ledge near his classroom moodily eating a bag of chips that would end up his lunch. If he hadn't liked the idea of the club he joined from the beginning, why did he expect it to get better? He wanted out and it had only been a week. The catcalling and recoil from the first attack wasn't healthy for Clyde's poor masculinity. His hunched posture matched the mood of the slow crunching snacks. Clyde's grip tightened to a fist around the bag of chips. He wasn't thinking about his crushed meal but something was still bringing him down.

Was he really doomed to take it up the ass? No! Clyde simply wouldn't allow it. He'd never let it happen. Clyde shivered at the thought of actually letting a man penetrate his body. He was giving himself the creeps. He almost spewed a mouthful of chips when he remembered if he didn't figure something out soon he was practically going to be gang banged. Shock shot through him as he reconciled with the thought of only having three weeks until doomsday. He really didn't have time to be leisurely lounging around. 

“Good aftern- nice day to be, sit outside huh?”

Clyde's soul drained out of his body. Tweek had somehow appeared practically on top of him. His slightly screeched greeting went directly into his skull. This time Clyde really did spew his food.

Tweek adjusted awkwardly next to Clyde waiting for him to tone down his surprised yelp.

“Ugh.. That's fucking disgusting don't spit your… Don't do that!”

Tweek gritted his teeth and had to resist the urge to smack Clyde upside the head. He wasn't that close and he didn't appear that suddenly. 

“If you don't want to be surprised don't zone out so much!”

Clyde was a bit offset by Tweek's discomfort. His reaction wasn't that exaggerated! People shouldn't sneak up and appear out of nowhere from behind…

“Yeah dumbass don't scream so much.”

This was met by another expression of shock from Clyde. He turned to see Eric giving him a bored stare.

“Oh shut up. Tweek your twitchy paranoia bs is out of control so maybe Clyde has a fair point.”

“Uh huh..”

Clyde was thinking again how these guys have a bad habit of sneaking up on people when Tweek socked Cartman in the stomach.

“Fucking hell you psycho! At least your shit is more interesting than girly shrieker here losing it over every little thing.”

“Whatever Cartman…”

Tweek was looking down at his hands and wasn't really in the mood to give Cartman anymore of his energy. Clyde wasn't even paying attention to Eric at this point so Eric felt the need to spice things up.

“Sometimes seems like the spaz gives people grief just because. One time after I tied him up I just left him there naked on the chair with the door cracked open a bit. He was so scared he threw up til he fainted! Ha can you imagine?!”

“I'm not even paranoid but that still sounds horrible! That's not a funny joke…”

Clyde came to the conclusion that Eric really wasn't that nice a of a person.

Bzzt!

“Huh what was that?”

“Ah sorry that was my phone I gotta go…”

“So who is it Tweek?”

“Lab assistant ugh”

“Ha! You hate that guy!”

Clyde watched Tweek hoist himself up leave their company. He reluctantly meandered off towards the science building. Clyde looked between Tweek and Eric with a confused expression. 

“Keep up newbie! Our neighborhood spaz doesn't want anything to do with that shitty teacher's aide but he's gotta fuck ‘em or he might try and sabotage his grade! Or even the club's funding. Maybe you should take one for the team next time and you can get in with Tweekers and out of the orgy in one swing.”

Clyde looked curiously up at Eric. Was he giving him genuine advice and info or was he messing with his head? Either way he couldn't believe what was happening! What the hell was with the shitty shallow administration at this school?!

Clyde turned attention back to the view off the ledge at the grassy field and courtyard below. He saw Kenny in the field with some other guys dribbling around a soccer ball. Under the sun's heat Kenny had taken off his coat and tied it around his waist instead revealing a simple black t-shirt underneath. Clyde looked on wistfully at how much fun Kenny was having just kicking a ball around, a joy he never really got from playing sports. Even when he was playing hard and sweating he still had a playful grin plastered on his face. Clyde couldn't help but resolve Kenny looked good doing anything. 

“Ahhh Kenny really likes soccer huh?”

Clyde stared dreamily at Kenny a moment longer before Eric interjected.

“So Kenny huh? Ya like him?”

“Ehh you know him?!”

“Not really, so do you?”

Cartman sniggered as a slow blush crept into Clyde's face.

“Weeeeeell I don't like like hiiiim. It's not like that…”

“You sound pretty uncertain newbie! It's understandable since he's adorable.”

“What! Do YOU like…?”

“Nah but I've met him he's likeable. Want to hear how we met?”

“...not really?”

“Too bad I'm your senior!”

Cartman cackled and launched into his story.

“At orientation, beginning of last year, I was coming out from the building where I got my textbooks and some guys were pissed off and actually beat me up. It was total bull.”

Clyde started to gather a wide range of things he could imagine someone wanting to beat up his upperclassman for. The choices were really limitless.

“And that's when Kenny appeared asking if I was okay and shit! Fuck, he was better than any of you assholes! He held his sleeve up to stop my nose from bleeding. ‘Orange is basically red anyway so don't worry’ ha!”

“And then?!?”

“And then? My nose eventually stopped bleeding, he left and we never spoke again?”

“And that's how your story ends?!”

“You have a problem with it?!”

Clyde thought about it and realized how glad he should be that Kenny's sweet charm hadn't been corrupted by extended association with Cartman. But wow, Kenny was even kind to Cartman. He was obviously enamored and it probably showed on his face. After today though, he couldn't really bring himself to care about that anymore.


	4. Hmm

“Hi Kenny! Oh wait, and Craig, hi. What are you two doing together?”

Clyde's stomach twinged in confusion and discomfort as he saw them approaching together. Were they hanging out together more often now that they both realized the other was at their school?

“Craig here was just lookin’ for the garden and somehow got lost so I was was setting him back on track.”

Kenny gave a playful laugh and finger gunned off in the direction they were going. Clyde couldn't bring himself to look that direction though because he was thoroughly distracted by Kenny's hair. His usual mess of blonde tousles was littered with little hair clips and hair ties pulling up random chunks of hair. It wouldn't have worked on Clyde but he couldn't help thinking it was somehow really cute on Kenny.

“Hi Clyde. You're with Eric.”

Craig dead panned as somewhat expected at this point to Clyde. He shifted his stare off of Clyde and onto Eric and back again. 

“Yes…?”

Clyde didn't know how to respond to Craig's masterful observation. And so he was with Eric.

“So uh, Eric was it? Are you one of Craig and Clyde's friends? Nice ta meetcha!”

Eric had a confused look on his face for a second but it then warped into a concerningly cruel smile. He took a step forward and gestured vaguely towards Kenny's hair before grabbing a tiny ponytail.

“Hah…? What's with this are you a little girl or something? It's not like it's cute or anything. You're trying to look cute aren't you, it's disgusting.”

A flash of horror traveled across Kenny's face as quickly as it had appeared. Cartman yanked Kenny's head a little more, forcing Kenny back into the moment. Clyde watched the scene play out, dumbfounded even Cartman would do something like this.

“What? You got something to say Kenny? Spit it out! Damn.”

Clyde finally found his voice and did his best to speak up.

“C-cartman… what? Stop that…”

Craig strode towards Cartman so confidently it gave the impression he was gliding across the floor. He gently pulled off Eric’s hand as if it was the most natural thing to do.

“Kenny's not trying to look like anything he just did it for fun. Right Ken?”

Eric froze as Craig pulled Kenny out of his grasp and deflected his attack. His face blanked.

“Well, uh, garden's that way Craig…thanks”

Kenny hurried off in the opposite direction without looking back.

The only one who wasn't shocked by the whole scenario seemed to be Craig. 

“Hey Clyde, gimme a chip.”

Clyde came back to his sense to see the gaze of Craig Tucker boring into him again as he waited for the snack to be shared. Clyde sighed and handed him a chip. 

Clyde was severely disappointed in himself. He could barely get a word out when Eric grabbed Kenny. He couldn't do anything. It was only worse that he had wanted to help but didn't. 

“Clyde come with me to the garden.”

“Uh okay why though?”

“We're friends now so we're supposed to walk places together.”

“Ah… Okay”

Eric watched the two starting to ditch him in disbelief. First the hair thing, now this? He slumped down on his bench and stared dejectedly at the floor. 

“Uh, Eric uhmm… you good? Wanna come with us?”

“Shit I meant to tell him his ponytail was really adorable, fuck”

“Wha…?”

Clyde's head was spinning out the window and at this rate he would never get it back.

“Disgusting is the opposite of adorable.”

“Yeah whatever, shut up annoying ass anti-social freak! You don't know how much fun I'm going to have traumatizing you in the orgy!”

Eric then stomped off.

Clyde decided that Cartman really was evil, and that of all things, avoiding him in a free for all orgy was his top priority.

“Wait...what?”

Craig had bundled a bit of Clyde's hair and pulled it to center at one spot. He was adjusting the position and seemed to be examining it carefully.

“You might look adorable if you had ponytails.”

“What? On me? I wouldn't do that, it'd be too weird.”

Clyde laughed nervously. Was Craig messing with him? If so, his sarcasm needed some work. What was that? They had moved on and kept walking but Clyde's mind remained at their last encounter. Craig was messing with him, he had the club's threat of an orgy to worry about and he couldn't put his finger on it but Kenny seemed really bothered for a second there, even for someone having their hair pulled by someone they just met.

=====================

“Why did I come here again?”

Clyde looked around the garden. He wasn't really a flowers kind of guy, but he could appreciate that someone clearly put effort in. The plants were tall and wild without looking messy and overgrown. It gave the impression there was nothing else in the world but garden. The sunlight peered through random cracks in the ivy reflecting off the multi-colored petals. One flower was positioned just right so it was the only thing nearby illuminated by the sun. 

While Clyde was mesmerized there was a click of a camera. His expression was captured along with the chance flower in a flash of light. Clyde's eyes widened.

“Wha…? Did you just take a picture of me?!? Delete that I hate taking pictures I always look bad!”

“It was a good shot.”

Clyde shifted uncomfortably as color rose into his cheeks. His look of panic was decorated with red splotches as he tried to retrieve the camera. Craig moved just enough to stay out of Clyde's reach every time he tried.

“C'mon Craig, you have to delete that…”

“But I took a good picture…”

Craig stared intently at Clyde's disheveled appearance. Taking just one picture, and a good one at that, had shaken him pretty bad.

“So why did you even come here in the first place…”

Clyde seemed to have at least partially recovered. He looked back up at Craig reluctantly waiting for an answer.

“I came to take pictures.”

Craig held up his camera indicatively. Clyde couldn't tell if he was lying or not due to his ever blank look but he couldn't see why he'd lie or have a camera otherwise. Clyde laughed awkwardly.

“O-oh, that makes sense.”

“Yeah.”

“Weeeell I don't know anything about taking pictures so I'll leaaave, and you do your thing…”

Craig watched as Clyde ambled out of the garden. He would've liked to take more of him after seeing how well the first one turned out. Soon after though, he distracted himself by taking pictures of his original subject but the more he took, the more unsatisfied he felt. He thought that he obviously needed to take more of Clyde, but why? Clyde wasn't even a flower or a dog or a guinea pig, so why was taking pictures of him so appealing?

Craig would never end up puzzling it out because he was distracted by something new. Someone else had entered the garden without him noticing and was now making a frustrating racket. After navigating through the rose bushes and climbing grape vines he found the source of the noise.

“Gah this is horrible! It's trash! It's all trash, I'm never going to be good at this!”

The frazzled figure couldn't decide whether he wanted to rip out the pages of his notebook or his hair. Craig leaned in a bit to see what was going on. On the boy's lap was a sketch pad with a half crumpled drawing of a rose.

“It's a good shot.”

“What?!? What are you doing here? Craig? Right? Ugh”

Tweek ripped the page out, finished crumpling it, and threw it as far as he could. He felt the pressure of an explosion building up under his skin. Everyone's first impression of him was going to be him was going to be as a slut or throwing an idiotic tantrum. Or in Craig's case a nice little blend of the two. He let out a delirious shriek as the pressure bubbled out of his eyes. Now the next page was ruined too.

“I think that's littering. Are you okay?”

Tweek couldn't help laughing so hard he hurt his sides. Wasn't this the guy who he had offered sex and gotten ignored by? Usually if you see someone screaming, that’s a queue to walk faster and away. 

“Haaaa, I guess it is littering. I'll pick it up in a second if you want.”

“Which flower is it?”

“Huh?”

“The one you drew.”

“Oh, uh it's around here…”

Tweek scanned his surroundings and his eyes locked onto the choice blossom he had tried to draw. He hadn't done the rose any justice but he hoped Craig wasn't going to pick it. If he was lucky he'd have time to try again tomorrow. 

“It's that one.”

Tweek rose his now steadied hand to point. Craig turned to look where he was pointing and when he saw the flower his eyes lit up. After seeing how gentle Craig was with the plant and his honest fascination he felt stupid for worrying. Craig lifted up the camera around his neck and took a picture of the flower from more than every angle Tweek could imagine would offer new insight on a single flower. 

Tweek sort of felt at peace watching Craig in his calm passion and his focused expression. He couldn't shake the feeling something was off. Then it hit him and it crawled up his body and made him want to vomit. 

“C-craig, so you are into photography? Like you like photography and want to do it more. Seriously, and that's not a camera from our club.”

“Yes.”

Craig just stared at him as if this was all obvious. Even though he hadn't tricked him personally he felt horrible. Craig had wanted to join an actual photography club and when he realized their club was all there was, he just settled for what he could get. 

“Speaking of the club I think you're right, let's have sex.”

He was right? Tweek was so shocked by Craig’s response he could barely remember offering in the first place. Did Craig want to have sex with him now?

“Uh okay do you mean… right now? Or I can look at my planner and…”

“You could come to my room, so not here right now in the garden, but I meant right now.”

Tweek could have sworn he gave himself whiplash when he looked up to see if Craig was serious but he got the feeling Craig didn't joke much. The look he had was more neutral than when he was photographing the flowers. 

Before he knew it he was following Craig across campus to go to his dorm. He didn't have anything, or anyone, better to do. 

The door clicked open as Craig inserted his key. Tweek expected a bare spartan box with maybe a few textbooks out to reflect Craig's general attitude but that's not what he was met with at all. He had two bulletin boards full of photos of what he guessed was friends back home, family, scenery, flowers and more. One wall was covered in strings with dozens of pictures hanging off, all of the same animal. His bed was a mess of blankets carelessly thrown on and his desk had an open laptop, several books, and several more water bottles filled with varying drinks. He couldn't tell what was in half of them were but he recognized the smell of coffee wafting through the room. 

“Well, uhm, Craig do you have a condom?”

“No.”

“Oh well I might, let me check… Yep, that's good.”

Oh boy Tweek had a mini heart attack. He handed Craig the condom he dug out of the bottom of his backpack. Craig had suddenly gotten gung ho about having sex and he didn't know if he would take “no we have to leave and look for a condom” as an answer. 

“So, what do we do now.”

Tweek almost snorted. Craig was a little too honest in his inexperience. 

“Well now we strip and you fuck me.”

Craig seemed to think Tweek was missing a few inbetween steps but he complied. He hadn't gotten undressed in front of anyone since he was really little. He changed in the bathrooms all through high school and nothing else had ever required him to strip. But now the blonde guy he just met was pulling off his shirt without a second thought. His thin button up had been hiding old sex marks scattered across his torso. Craig started pulling off his own shirt when Tweek started on his pants effectively keeping him from staring. It didn't really occur to him before now that Tweek would really know what he was doing. It was like he just got his starter pokemon and Tweek had a level one hundred mewtwo. But were they fighting? He hoped it wouldn't really matter that much.

He turned back to Tweek when he had stripped down to his boxers but Tweek was already completely nude. He was already fingering himself on his bed. Craig couldn't help but watch as Tweek’s face lightly flushed over and his breathing came at a noticeable rhythm. 

“Nghhh don't just watch! What are you waiting for?”

Craig hesitantly pulled down his boxers and sat next to Tweek. Tweek looked at him for a second then rolled his eyes and sighed. 

Tweek crawled over him and took his head with one hand and Craig's half mast dick in the other. Craig wasn't prepared when Tweek pressed his lips on his own and started jerking him off. Craig became oddly aware of every little sensation despite the focus on his lower region. He could feel patches of his skin warming up like his cells were slowly realizing another person was so close. While Craig was zoning out Tweek had worked his tongue into his mouth and gotten him fully hard. Craig was even moaning into his mouth. What was he doing? The closeness in combination with the pleasure all felt surreal. Was his body always capable of this? Craig pushed those thoughts out of his head. Discovery was the reason point he initiated this encounter in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry not really


End file.
